Annapolis Royal pt2 / Here Comes the End...

Gahhhh!

With only 2 days left in my Nova Scotia Wizard hunt remaining I think it's as good a time as any to call it.

Wizard heads, Wizard tales... either way it's time to call it.

I figured it wouldn't be fair to myself to cut my trip short without following all the leads I've gathered over the past 6 months, so yesterday, on the advice of all sorts of Scotians, a friend and I hit the open road and took the 3 hour drive out to the Upper Clements Park in Annapolis Royal.
This seemed to be the strongest lead, with anyone that had any sort of Wizard advice pointing me there, yet we still came up short.

For the first time since I measured in at 6'6", I'm the guy on the right.

The downside to not finding the Wizard coin seems obvious. I came out here to get something done, and absolutely did not succeed.
On the other hand, the pros of this adventure were totally unexpected, and at the end of the day completely outweighed the cons by a million-fold.
I came out here to find a Wizard, or, more so, to find something magical, and I think it's safe to say that that's exactly what happened. Though rather than finding a Wizard I instead met all sorts of amazing new people that, in turn, introduced me to all sorts of amazing new ideas and thoughts and ramblings and jokes and stories and more friends and beers and skate-parks galore and nights of debauchery and kisses with strangers and strangers that turn into people you know you'll know for the rest of your life and caffeine addictions and barbeques and incredible never ending 4am jam sessions and so so much fun and so many stories that it seems impossible that it could all fit into a single summer.

I learned so much from and about myself and others on this trip that I feel like I'm finally just beginning. Life has just begun, and I'm a new person, and I'm just now ready to take life by it's big stupid skaggy bull horns, and throw it over my head, and drag it to wherever I want it to be.
I feel so free, and so able to do anything that I could ever want to do.
I finally feel like me.

Pictured: the exact opposite of right now.

And it's true, everything is easy if you want it to be. The hardest part of doing something is believing, fully and truly, that you can actually do it. The rest is just going through the physical motions of doing what you've already planned out in your head.

If you want something, go and get it. Try as hard as you possibly can while you still can, and don't give up until you get whatever you're after, or until you've lost interest or found something more exciting to chase. Even if you never achieve your original goal it's still infinitely more satisfying to exhaust every last avenue of trying, and to be able to come to the realization that maybe it's not meant to be, than to wait around wishing and agonizingly hoping that it might one day fall in your lap. Or to look back on something that may or may not have been and think what could have been. The only thing that ever could have been is what actually was all along.

And just because I didn't find the Wizard doesn't mean that I failed in finding him, nor does it even necessarily mean that my search is over. In fact, it seems like a pretty good excuse to come back here one day. Maybe even write a song about it... "Going, going, back, back to..."

What is this 'Cali' you speak of?

As of the first of the month I'll be heading out to Woodville, Ontario to set up a studio in an old re-finished barn to start recording vocals for 1 of 2 solo CDs that my band 'Animal Nation' will be releasing in the next little bit.

I guess I never mentioned that....

Besides traveling 3800 miles through two countries in order to track down a mythical old Wizard, I also came out here to write lyrics for an album I've been working on for the last 2 years.

See, back home nearly every day of my life, for the past 8 years, had been identical to the one preceding it. Every day was the same. 'Monday morning is every day for all I care', sort of thing..
With that in mind I had, for roughly 4 years, wanted to create an album that reflected that lifestyle. I wanted to make an album that represented the 1 day that was every day of my life. I wanted to make something real.
Thus began the album "Every Day In The Life".

After having completed roughly 90% of the instrumentation and 10% of the lyrics back home I realized I was too comfortable in my current setting, and perhaps had already juiced all the inspiration I could out of a town I'd lived my entire life in, so I decided to move away from everything I knew in order to get a fresh outlook on the past near-decade.

We'll be revealing more about this album, as well as Mike's solo effort, in the upcoming months.
We'll also be touring across Canada, starting in Montreal, making our way back out West, throughout October and the start of November. Check out the Animal Nation blog to see when we'll be heading to your city...







So, to anyone that may have somehow stumbled across this page, thanks for reading.
I originally intended to make a site that would one day help the next person that found a Wizard coin understand what it was all about.
I didn't.
I didn't solve anything.
But at the end of the day I think the mystery is probably more appealing than the reality anyway, and your adventure will be a thousand times better than mine, and a million times better than if I had found the coin and explained to you where it came from in writing, thus preventing you from ever going on a Wizard Quest of your own.

So good luck. Don't ever stop. Don't ever give up.
Whatever it is, it's out there somewhere.


So I guess that's it.
I guess now is as good a time as any to call it.

Wizard tales. They're whatever and wherever you want them to be...
Call it in the air...
It's all you.

The Citadel Coin Shop(pe).

As my Wizard adventure comes to a Wizard end the places I have left to check for my Wizard are becoming less and less.
I've ticked off nearly every spot on my Wizard 'to do' list, and I still haven't found any real solid evidence that this Wizard of mine actually even exists.
The main theory now is that the coin came from an old gaming arcade from the 80's called 'The Wizard Hole'.

Wizard Hole?

Wizard Hole!

Anyway, I was down at the Citadel Coin shoppe today... side note - when did people decide that dropping the extra "pe" from the end of 'shop' was a good thing? Any why does it seem like the only establishments that still use the 'shoppe' moniker are also the only shoppes that seem like they should have been out of business decades ago.

The Coin Shoppe? Now how exactly does one trade money for other money while also making enough money to money? I understand that certain coins are worth more than others, but is trading really common currency for less common currency an actual feasible business plan?

"I was looking to borrow just enough money to be able buy enough money to trade for more, better, money."
"Get out."

I kind of feel like this shop is the older brother holding 4 loonies, and the customers are the younger brother willing to trade in their $5 bill, because the 4 loonies are physically more money than the one $5 bill.

The Hobby Horse Quilt Shoppe? This can't be a real place. Or, if it is, this absolutely cannot be a place that makes real money. I mean, with the whole "the economy is bust" thing, seriously addictive places like Starbucks are shutting down hundreds of stores at a time, so how the heck can a place called "The Hobby Horse Quilt Shoppe" possibly stay in business?
This place has to either be the Hobby Horse of a trust-fund hippie, or a money laundering joint for something way more addictive than caffeine.

1 of approx. 10,000,000 horse quilts I found on Google Image Search. Maybe this is a real thing.

The British Isles Island Shoppe? Wait, what?

But anyway, the point of my whole story was that I was at the Halifax Citadel Coin Shoppe today, and none of the employees knew anything about my Wizard Coin.


All these crazy old Canadian Coins, and World Coins, and Fancy-Pants "look at me I'm in a pretty little case" Coins, and not even a trace of Wizardry.

A Wizard in hiding.

I've hit a wall.

A Wizard wall, perhaps.

I've asked nearly everyone I've ran into or had any sort of contact with about this coin, and still can't seem to find even an inkling of a clue.

An inkling.

I even asked Picnicface's in-house magician Bill Wood about it, and, after scaring the bujeesus out of me with the whole magician's 'disappearing coin' bit, he still wouldn't dish out any info about it.

My next stop is going to be Annapolis Royal. I would have already gone. I was planning on going a few days ago, but as I was driving to a smaller, less promising Wizard tip-spot my brakes gave out (no shit), and now my car is lodged at Canadian Tire being serviced.

Will I ever stumble upon this silly old Wizard of mine? Am I currently being ripped off by Canadian Tire? Are octopuses negatively affected by oil spills in any way?
All this and more whenever I next get the urge to put off whatever it is I should be doing, and instead write to no one about a Wizard that may not even exist.


DRUM CIRCLE UPDATE - I just realized that I was in the middle of a drum circle no less than 30 minutes ago (wtf?) and I didn't even bother to ask any of the hoola-hooping hippies about the Wizard or the Wizard coin.
Dang.
Although, according to google it's far more likely that something horrible happens whenever Hippies meet Wizards in large open fields. So maybe I can chalk that one up as a win.
Crisis averted.
Go me.

Wizard Optical

About a week ago I sent electronic mails to a few places throughout Nova Scotia. I sent messages to the Wizard Optical Center (http://wizardoptical.ca), the Rental Wizard (http://therentalwizard.com), and The Dent Wizard (http://www.halifaxdentremoval.co.uk/), as well as to a Halifax band simply called "Wizard" (http://www.myspace.com/wwiizzaarrdd).

I got replies back from everyone, and, of course, no one knew much about anything to do with the coin or the Wizard or wands or spells or the location of Azkaban or anything magic related at all.
They were, however, very helpful in regards to removing my dents, fixing me up for some specs, renting me... something, and playing me some funky jams.

This G-9th chord is totally going to remove that dent in your glasses. And rent you... something.

Although - I just found a place online called the "Wizard Coin Supply" (http://www.wizardcoinsupply.com). They're not located in Nova Scotia, but I have to figure that if anyone is going to know anything about a Wizard coin, it's probably going to be a place that supplies said coins.

C'mon really obvious solution!

Lunenburg pt. 2 and the Tramp Schooner

I hit my first real Wizard snag today!

I took a trip about an hour southwest of Halifax today down to Lunenburg, the home of the Bluenose II.

This sign reads "Lunenburg" for anyone that isn't sporting a magnifying glass right now.

The Bluenose II is the baby of the ship that is on the back of the Canadian dime, as well as my Wizard Coin. Basically, it's a replica ship - more on that in a minute.
Now, how ships have babies I may never know, but what I do know, having found out today, is that Lunenburg, home of the Bluenose II, is definitely not the home of the Bluenose I, my Wizard, nor the home of anybody that cared to share any Wizard secrets.

It is, however, home of lobsters with pincers bigger than my thigh. Think - less 'pinchy', more 'hackey/slicey'.

I made it to the "Fisheries Museum of the Atlantic" around 2:30pm today. After paying my admittance fee I booked it straight towards the Bluenose, and was greeted by a friendly life saver letting me know that this was actually the Bluenose II, and not the Bluenose, which, up until right then, I thought I was going to see.

I've never hated the character 'I' more than I did right then. Double time.

At that point I wasn't too surprised when the person handing out information, Ryan, couldn't actually inform me about my coin. Ryan was very friendly though, and he did take a photo of me pretending to steer the Bluenose II into the wharf.

And check, and turn the signal to the right! Now turn to the right!
And check, and turn the signal to the left! Now turn to the left!

I guess I could have done my research earlier, but according to Wiki the original Bluenose...

Name:	Bluenose
Launched:	March 26, 1921
Fate:	Sold out-of-country in 1942 to become a tramp schooner in the Caribbean

A Tramp Schooner. I don't even care what a Tramp Schooner actually does, but c'mon Canada... You sold a part of our heritage to what sounds like a whore-house on water?!
I don't know whether to balk or cheer. That sort of rules.

Yo' momma! ...is now cavorting around the world as a Tramp Schooner, and is totally full of sea-men.

So, at the end of the day I guess I didn't really get any further in finding my Wizard. I did, however, think of the possibility that I could be in the wrong part of the World all together.
See, after finding out that the original Bluenose was sold to the Caribbean in 1942 I remembered back a couple months ago when I stumbled upon another 'rare' coin:

After googling and quickly finding out this coin's not-so-rare background I dismissed it as 'unimportant', and gave it to an unsuspecting customer at my work as change.
This, in hind-sight, could have been a horrible mistake.

I mean, I can't be the only one that thinks the ship on the Caribbean coin looks an awful lot like the original Bluenose, give or take a few doses of magic/pirate broads.


Also in Lunenburg -

The masts of the Bluenose II, despite not being the proper ship, are still pretty mastive.

At one point I heard a loud buzzing above me, in the 3rd floor of the museum, at a spot where I thought I could go no higher. Figuring this was the shape-changing or potion brewing of a Wizard I decided to sneak into the attic-like 4th floor ventilation room. I quickly discovered that the the loud buzzing was not so much a wizard transmorphographying, but actually just the ventilation system venting.

It's okay. I'm good with secrets. There's no reason you shouldn't be able to vent around me.

Lunenburg.

I got a few leads today. More than one. This is perfect.

First off, my new house mates told me to check out the book store up the street. I mentioned the book store idea to a few other people, and everyone was in agreement: book store owners know just about everything about everything, and that's a great place to start, even if it's only because it's the closest place to start.

The next tip I got was from our next door neighbour, Matt. Matt thinks I should take a trip about an hour south of here to a little town called Lunenburg.
Lunenburg is the home of the Bluenose, which at one point was the World's fastest sailboat, and is also the boat stamped on the Canadian dime, as well as on my Wizard Coin.

The Bluenose is also the name of this ridiculously sad little Panda bear,
which, according to his Wiki page, has never won any races, ever.

A new friend also suggested I take a look down by the Harbour, and that sounds fun and all, but now that I've written out the word 'harbour' I can't help but wonder why Canadians put U's into all sorts of words that really don't need U's.

We don't need 'U'! No, not you... no, don't start with the crying again, Bluenose!

Day Zero.

I made it!
My Quest for Wizard Coin Knowledge can finally begin now that I'm here.
Or... well... there:

There.

Or, I guess, not exactly there... I mean, I'm not standing at that sign as I write this, but I am in Nova Scotia, which, according to the friendly little sign that welcomed me/told me everything I know about this crazy place, is home to at least one lighthouse.

Although I assume the King of Nova Scotia (or whatever it is they call the president here [Sea Captain?]) wouldn't have a lighthouse on the welcome sign if there wasn't already at least one solid lighthouse in the province. With that assumption set in place, I think it's safe to say that Nova Scotia is home to at least two lighthouses.

Are multiple lighthouses called 'lighthouses', or would they be called something different? I could see them being named in a similar fashion to the 'moose' for some reason. Would that mean that more than one lighthouse is called a series of light-hie? Now that I'm thinking about it, what is the plural form of 'moose'?

Are we not Meese? We are DEVO.

Oh, the questions, oh, the questions....

---

Oh! 3am side note - my roommates also just informed me that there were 3 gun slayings here last week. Last week. I don't mean to criticize my new home, but there were 153 gun-related deaths in all of Canada last year.
That means, according to my calculations (3 deaths per week x 52 weeks), Nova Scotia is responsible for 103% of Canada's gun crime.
So, I guess there's always that.

Crackpipe Wizardry

I've spent the last four days of my Wizard hunt relaxing at an immaculate old 5 bedroom mansion about an hour outside of Montreal, QC.
I've been getting three-wine-bottle-deep drunk every night, eating more food every day than I normally take in in a week, and just generally readying myself for the last leg of my travels across the country.

Doing nothing, so I'm ready for anything.

This mansion hasn't been quiet, however, and has seen more overnight guests than Lindsay Lohan's last visit to the local WMCA. It's been great. I've had huge steak dinners with drug dealers, drank fresh orange juice with retired sports heroes, and I was even taught how to roll a one-handed joint by a thalidomide baby. And I think, just maybe, that the Wizard himself may have even stopped by for a visit.

It was 3 nights ago, around 10:45pm, when there was a knock on the door. I answered it, expecting it to be the local police wanting to know why there seemed to be a steady stream of new people coming in every 15 minutes and leaving shortly afterwards, but instead it was an older gentleman and his young lady friend, carrying dessert for a dinner they were, if they had been invited, 3 hours late for.

They came in, we had drinks, we had tea, we had conversations. I asked the 72 year old, grey haired man about the coin, and he shook the question off, almost as if he were hiding something. He had an odd look about him. He looked very much so like a Wizard would look, if a Wizard was going out for a casual night of dinner-hopping with a younger lady-friend. We had dessert, we had more drinks, and we had some pot, though we had no way of smoking it.
Within 30 seconds flat the grey-haired man got up, went into the kitchen, rustled through some things, and came back with a tinfoil pipe, which, I admit, made him seem a lot more like a crackhead than a Wizard, though I was impressed.

Solid one piece construction. Totally to crack-code.

After the old man had come and gone I spent a solid half hour trying to recreate his pipe. I couldn't do it. His was flawless, while mine was totally full of flaws, including its main flaw of 'not actually working at all'.

I started to think back on our conversation and all the Wizard-like clues I may have missed, including the fact that at one point he was totally walking around with a wand, pretending to zap plants, while talking absolute gibberish. (In his defense, I was pretty drunk, and his 'gibberish' could have been french.)

Old man: "Voulez-vous couche avec moi, se-soir?"
Me: Utter look of terror.

Wizard or no wizard, crackhead, or regular old man that carries around a wand, I realize now that it was nearly infinite times more likely that the old man was a Wizard rather than a crackhead, if simply for the fact that I don't think I've ever heard of a crackhead living past the age of 28.

Escape From McGangBang Island.

I feel like Snake in that old badass 80's flick "Escape From New York", or, possibly even Snake in that less badass 00's flick "Escape From L.A.", except that instead of fleeing from explosions and bad guys while trying to rescue the President, I've been fleeing from greasy food and strip malls while trying not to let my meals slide through me faster than what should be humanly possible.

Like this, if this were my butt.

But I made it! I'm in Toronto, on my way to Montreal, New Brunswick, and, finally, Nova Scotia to track down, tie up, and kill the Wizard that made this coin that made me go 4 days without real food.

Thankfully, being back in Canada means a whole lot less of this:

McGangBang Burger

... seriously. I wish I made that name up.

And a whole lot more of this:

Poutine. Canada's response to KFC's Double Down.

I think the only reason poutine doesn't fly too well in the States is because when you order it the person behind the till usually hands it to you in styrofoam, rather than meat.

Rethinking My (Blatently Ignorant) Design

Wow.

I grossly underestimated the population of Nova Scotia... by about 800 000 people.

Apparently my plan of simply asking every single person in Nova Scotia about the coin isn't going to work out so well after all.

My perception of how I thought (all of) Nova Scotia would look. Colours to scale.

Wizard free in Missouri.

I just arrived in Missouri, and all the songs on the radio are about guns and god, and how they're related, (mainly due to the fact that they both protect your loved ones, and how if you come where you're not welcome, brother, you might just meet them both,) and it's freakin' incredible.


America. Fuck yeah.

No wizards in sight.
Probably too afraid of being gunned down by the local trigger happy backwoods folk of this oddly beautiful state.


*note - After talking to friends that actually have tidbit of geographic knowledge about the States i've been informed that it's a thousand times more likely that I'm in Montana, rather than Missouri... my ignorance is going to be the end of me....


Current location: Somewhere... in there.

Josh Martinez

Last week my band played a gig in Tacoma, WA with Nova Scotia born and bred hip-hop star Josh Martinez.

Now, this looks like the type of dude you wanna situate yourself with if you're trying to find a freakin' wizard.

We've played a few shows with Martinez over the last couple years, so he was more than willing to answer a couple of questions I had. Here's a rough transcript of a vague memory I may or may not have actually been a part of.

Me: Do you know anything about this coin? (shows coin)

Josh: (looks at Wizard) No... (flips coin around) Nova Scotia, eh? (shows more interest) I don't know anything about this coin, but it's cool. Where'd you get it?

Me: (explains story) I heard from a couple 'Scotians themselves that I should have a poke around Upper Clements Park. Know anything about that?

Josh: Upper Clements Park? (looks confused, then, as if a memory strikes) I do! I haven't been there in ages... Since I was 12 at least.

Me: Notice any Wizards while you were there? Or, perhaps, any really ugly guys with really really good looking girls? You know, something that might have made you think that there was a little potion slanging going on? Walk into anything that didn't really seem to be there? Perhaps as if said thing had a vanishing potion dumped on them?

Josh: What? No.

Me: ...Do you know where I can go to get a good donaire while I'm in Hali?

Josh: Just about anywhere, man.

Don't dig it? Donair even go there.

Annapolis Royal

I got a hot tip direct from two Scotians themselves that I should take a trip to the Upper Clements Park in Annapolis Royal.

A Wizard vacation, perhaps?

As it turns out I spent a year about an hour east of AnnRoy nearly five years ago now. I took a year off of life, and tried out the whole University-right-out-of-high-school bit. And while my interest in Economics never did improve above absolutely none at all, my skills in rolling joints was somehow perfected.
And I guess that instead of spending four years earning a degree that would now itself have spent two years gathering dust, I spent four years in and out and in and, finally, permanently, out of love with a girl that I brought home from said school.
And she was the best teacher I ever could have had.
Whatever.
Lives lived, pasts passed.
...
And soon, in months, I'll be back.

That will be a trip indeed....

Mahone Bay

There are more Scotiers around than I previously thought!
I was at a Classified concert yesterday, and when he asked if there were any Maritimers in the audience about a quarter of the 500 person crowd erupted! It would appear that there are almost as many Scotiers here as there Aussie's. Yikes.
After the show I had the chance to talk to a couple of new friends from 'Mahone Bay', which is about 45 minutes South of Halifax, about the coin.

Mahone Bay looking fairly Wizard free.

I get more and more intrigued by each Scotier that I talk to that has absolutely no idea about the origins of the coin. It means that it's not necessarily a token to Halifax's largest amusement park, and maybe, possibly, it's slightly more likely to be a token to get into the secret Wizard society.

4 Wizard coins, please.

My only fear is this: what if it takes one Wizard coin to get in to the secret Wizard society, and then another coin to buy the potion I'm after. Or! Or... even worse... what if it takes one Wizard coin to get in to the secret Wizard society, and then it takes another coin to get out.

The Wizard Coin

So, I guess it was about 4 months ago now when I found this coin.

I guess I didn't really find it, as much as a friendly English couple tried to use it as a quarter in the shop I was working at.
I told them that we would gladly accept it as payment, while trying to hide my excitement. Trying not to show how badly I wanted that coin to be mine.
I must have poker faced it alright, or overestimated how freakin' awesome this coin is, because they didn't seem too into holding onto it, and were quite happy to get rid of it.
Once they left I pocketed the coin, and quickly replaced it with a real quarter. A spendable quarter.
What I found odd about the whole thing was that the couple themselves had never been to Nova Scotia, and didn't know anyone that had. Nor were they, or any of their relatives (that they felt like bringing up), wizards themselves.
I was intrigued.
I wanted to research where this coin came from, and, basically, wanted to be able to use the coin to buy some potions.
This is where it gets tricky. This coin is the only thing I've ever not been able to find on Google. Ever. I mean, Google has everything. Google even has the answer to the age old question, "Why are we here?", and yet, no matter how hard I look, it won't tell me where I can buy a freakin' vanishing potion!


I think the most logical thing to do at this point would be to give up on the search, and go back to playing the banjo. Or, even just putting the coin thing down, and going back to doing just about anything else. That being said, on May 15th I'll be driving across the country to Nova Scotia to try to find the Wizard.
I won't be coming back until I find him.
Or her.
Or it... hopefully it's not an 'it'.



Oh! And to make the whole thing seem a little less crazy - I've had the pleasure of talking to a few Nova Scotiers about the coin, and not a single one of them (out of about 6 I've talked to so far) know anything about the coin. I've talked to people from Halifax, Dartmouth, Antigonish, and Truro, and they were all as confused as I am.
What have I learnt from all this? Wizards are secretive.